Happiness

Standing in the vestibule of St. Anthony’s church on July 7th, 1990, is a memory I am able to draw on regularly. Beyond a shadow-of-a-doubt, the number one emotion that I was feeling at the time was happiness. Ten minutes later, standing at the altar with my best man and groomsmen, I see Susie, more lovely than lavender in Provence, beginning to walk down the aisle and accept me as her husband. This, in my opinion, is what I would call a memorable experience. 

Similarly, sharing time with our two children, walking hand-in-hand with Susie, completing a challenging epic adventure, reaching the end of a formidable educational program, dinner with friends and family in our backyard; these all bring forward an acute sense of emotional happiness. 

Happiness memories predominantly originate from experiences rather than tangible items. Research and psychological studies have shown that experiences often provide more lasting happiness and fulfillment compared to our valued possessions. 

This is actually very interesting to me. Personally, I have found that shopping for tangible items such as a new Patagonia sweater, a pair of New Balance running shoes, some cool techy gadget or maybe even a new Santa Cruz gravel bike appears to bring me immense joy and happiness. The excitement of extensively researching and then purchasing my current obsession seems to push all sorts of thrill buttons in my sensory. The feeling is undeniably real. 

Interestingly, as I meditate on happiness over my life, what filters to the top are an abundance of experiences I have had, rather than the scores of tangible posessions I have researched and purchased. Many of my experiences involve using the tangible belongings; however, it’s the memorable experience which brought the happiness. 

According to another study, experiences often involve meaningful social interactions, which significantly enhance feelings of happiness, joy and well-being. Shared experiences can strengthen relationships while also creating a sense of connection and belonging between the individuals. 

This sense of connection and belonging is crucial in order to maintain and strengthen our emotional health and well-being. 

Furthermore, research has demonstrated that people, including myself, tend to somewhat embellish their memories of experiences over time, making them more enjoyable to reflect on. This personal and distinctive narrative-creation adds value to the unique experience and can help make it a lasting source of happiness.

While both, experiences and tangible stuff, can be a touchstone for personal pleasure and joy, experiences tend to have a more profound and lasting impact on our happiness. 

Predominantly, this lasting impact is primarily due to one distinguishing characteristic; experiences tend to involve social and emotional interaction with other humans.

Sources: 

1. Leuck, Steve. Personal experience. 
2. Gilovich, T., & Kumar, A. (2015). "We’ll always have Paris: The hedonic payoff from experiential and material investments." Advances in Experimental Social Psychology, 51, 147-187. 
3. Van Boven, L., & Gilovich, T. (2003). "To Do or to Have? That Is the Question." Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 85(6), 1193-1202. 
4. Caprariello, P. A., & Reis, H. T. (2013). "To do, to have, or to share? Valuing experiences over material possessions depends on the involvement of others." Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 104(2), 199-215. 
5. Kumar, A., & Gilovich, T. (2016). "The Surprising Power of Online Experiential Purchases to Elevate Connection with One’s Self." Psychological Science, 27(9), 1375-1382